One Amazing Summer -Bible in 90 Days

Today, I begin reading the bible in 90 days as organized by Terri Lynne Underwood and friends in what is being called "One Amazing Summer". I have also been doing the study of the Proverbs 31  woman with Good Morning Girls.

God has been doing amazing things and I fully expect Him to do even more, but guess what? While God is revealing, healing and transforming, the enemy is plotting and attacking. Whenever we set out to improve our relationship with God or to do what is pleasing to Him, stuff starts happening! I'm sure there are others out there who have observed this phenomenon!

The enemy knows our weaknesses, every- little- one!  He may start off attacking you in subtle ways, little things that break (or big things like  my car and my air conditioning!), he may try to break your spirit by  setting up lots of little obstacles in your everyday life, or he may even go bigger and try to cause you to have a car accident. Been there, done that too, almost every day!

Ah, but most of us are stronger than that! We are into  the Word  and the Word strengthens us, but what the devil uses most, on me anyway, is my mind. He infiltrates my thoughts with venomous little whispers, he reminds me of my insecurities, he uses my weaknesses against me. He also tries to revive bitter memories and old resentments. Before long, if I haven't recognized his tactics, I'm reduced to a pile of crying, useless flesh. He works systematically to break me down. Do you have the same problem?

For the past several weeks, I have had one trial after another, but the thing that has broken me was this...a weariness, physical, emotional, mental,spiritual...complete weariness and the feeling to give up.

This is the single, most effective ploy that the devil can use on me. You'd think I'd be smart enough to avoid the pitfall by now! I AM WEARY!  I get careless, complacent, discouraged, depressed. I can say its PMS, hormones, the heat, but what it REALLY is...an attack on me to keep me focused on myself, to keep me distracted from the goals I've set and the true purpose of  God.

When I'm down in that pit, I stop listening to the voice of God, I listen to my own voice, complaining, whining, full of self-pity and giving in to bitterness and resentment. This is exactly what the enemy wants! He WANTS me to fail! He WANTS to keep me in that pit, believing  that I can't do any better, that I'm weak and pathetic.BUT I AM NOT!!

It takes great effort, but I CAN come out of that pit,with the help of God. I CAN and WILL succeed because if I keep my eyes on Him, He will give me strength. When I am weary I can go to the Word and receive refreshing Psalm 92:10 "You give me the strength of the wild ox, you anoint me with fresh oil"


As we begin this first week of "One Amazing Summer", I want to share this with you all and to warn you to guard your heart against the enemy. Pray and cover yourself  with the protection of the Lord, all aspects  of your lives, your families and your possessions (the crafty one will use anything against you!)

1 Cor 16:13 "Be on your guard, stand firm in the faith, be courageous, be strong". This is my prayer for all of us as we do this thing together. United in prayer, we shall be victorious!

Joan's Legacy

Today I'm linking up with Mom Heart  for their very first link up. We are supposed to share on our lives as moms and in particular share about the legacies that we are leaving for our children. I want to share someone else's legacy though.

For those of you who follow my blog, you know that my mother in law has been ailing from cancer these past 5 months or so. It seems as if she has been in a steady decline with no will to fight for her life. The moment she heard the word 'cancer' she seemed to shrivel up and shrink away from God and from life, even refusing to eat until a feeding tube had to be inserted so the family could 'force-feed' her because she is malnourished.

Yesterday she was admitted to hospital again for a blood transfusion and a battery of tests. As I looked at her asleep on that hospital bed last night, it seemed as if she is in an unreachable place. I wondered how much longer we would have her with us and I understood the quiet anger that simmers beneath the surface of the family's regular activities that she has given up...that she has not fought for more time with them.

My thoughts ran on the legacy that she has built up. I looked around the room at all four siblings who are quietly drawing strength from each other. Even if her presence and participation is weak, it is enough to be the central force of their connection...as it has been their whole lives.

She, who taught them that family is the most important thing, who doggedly continued to cook Sunday meals just so she could have her family visit every Sunday, even though I kept telling her that we should be cooking for her and even though, as children grew, fewer of us came.

She has taught them to have faith in God and to turn to Him for answers. I remember my husband telling me that when he had major decisions to make she would tell him to pray and that his heart would know what to do.

She, who had to depend on that faith in order to allow her children to spread their wings and fly out of her nest, also taught them to let go and let God. It couldn't have been easy to let her firstborn leave her and travel to North America to study at the tender age of 17, in a time of no cell phones, Skype or email. How she must have prayed for him!  This same son who was later involved in two serious car accidents...what a strong lady she has been!  She had to repeat this emptying of her nest three more times, sending two more children to university and giving one over in marriage.

Yes, she has taught them to be strong...to believe in themselves. She once quoted to me what she used to say to them "Nobody is better than you are." She didn't just talk the talk but walked the walk too having to rely on her own strength so much in the years that my father in law travelled heavily due to his job and even having to live apart from them for a while. I just cannot imagine doing this without my husband!

She has encouraged them to see the lighter side of things. This has always left a deep impression upon me, having come from a very uptight family. They always banter and tease and joke around, even with their mother lying in the bed before us they could find something to smile about. I feel very uptight by comparison!

There's so much more I could say, but I would be writing a book! I know I should be writing about my own legacy, since this is what we are linking up with today. I promise to do so next time, but today I wanted to share with you about my amazing mother in law and to ask you to continue to pray for her and to thank you, all of you who have been lifting us up in prayer.

May God bless you all abundantly and may His protection be with you and yours.

The Modern Day Proverbs 31 Woman

Here we are at week two of our study of the Proverbs 31 woman. Its been such a rewarding experience thus far. As I've mentioned before, I think, I've done all my studies solo and never really had anyone to discuss and commiserate with. Since joining GMG on Facebook, I've had the wonderful experience of sharing and learning from others and it just brings to life Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron so one person sharpens another" These ladies make me think!

After a lively Facebook discussion this week, I got to pondering how we can apply Proverbs 31 to modern day woman. If King Lemuel's mother were to speak to him in today's age of advanced technology, declining values, alarming events globally which are directly against all biblical teachings...what would she say?  How would she describe the 'perfect wife'?

This is written a little bit 'tongue-in-cheek' to inject a bit of humour so bear with me, but here's what I came up with.

My son, I've been around a lot longer than you have, I've seen things you cannot even dream of. I've seen a world that used to love God and women who worshipped Him and not their beauty, pocketbooks or status in life. You see, once upon a time, there was something called the women's liberation movement, which sought to liberate women but only imprisoned them more. They turned from God's true purpose for them and became a sort of mutant form of female, more male than female, suppressing their natural instincts to love and nurture, they instead, embraced a hardness that would enable them to succeed. They began to see children, a precious gift of God, as burdens that would hinder their climb up the ladder of success.


My son, don't go breaking your heart with these women...they love themselves and can never love as God wants them to love. Yes their beauty is breathtaking, but brittle and cold. Let me tell you what to look for in a future bride.


She will first love God and this will make love her greatest attribute. From this love will blossom a desire to sacrifice, serve and nurture. (remember son, you are not always lovable and this doesn't come naturally ... but will take lots of surrender, prayer and self-denial)


She will serve with joy, diligently, even though she may grow weary at times, she will endure and persevere to the end because of her great love for God and for those she serves. (yes my son, she will grow weary many times... two-year old tantrums are the worst!  Picking up after the kids isn't easy either and, not calling any names here, but when older people also leave their stuff lying around...well, a mini eruption can occur. Be patient, she will come round...eventually)


She will seek God's wisdom, over her own heart's desires and over her own human understanding, so that He will guide her steps in all things. (and if she sometimes slips up...give a little grace ok? Just watch out for Facebook!)


She will be a great steward of all that you give to her, because she treasures you and how hard you labour for her and those for whom you are responsible. (and honestly, don't judge too harshly if she thinks that the deal on a month's supply of laundry detergent was worth it...men don't see things like women do!)


She will have such a heart of compassion that she will give to those in need, both of her time and talent and whatever she can spare. (if she should someday give away your old, holey, but favourite pair of  jeans, please don't yell at her, that homeless man really needed them more than you anyway)


She will teach her children to love God first and teach them the values that you hold dear and she will be a blessing, a gift from God to you. (you may not always think so, especially at... ummm...certain times of the month, but wait it out son, it too shall pass)


Because of these you will trust her wholeheartedly and you will find great happiness and contentment. (I promise you that no matter how rough the ride becomes,  you'll look back on it all and you will smile and you WILL find that you are content and happy)




Yes, this Proverbs 31 lady is a tough act to follow, but not an impossible one. Honestly, I believe with all my heart that the key to emulating her lies with  my number one point...she will love God first! Loving God for me means surrendering to His will, gaining strength from Him and wisdom and understanding. Loving God means that I can tap into His great love and have it spill over into my life and all my undertakings.


I pray for all of us doing this study, may God enlighten us, strengthen us and fill us with His love.

A Woman of Great Love

Hello there my bloggy friends...its been a while. I have missed writing so much, but there has been a lot going on. Have you ever been in a place where you feel like you are being crushed from all sides by the weight of trials? Sometimes it seems as if there is no easing up of the pressures.

The past few weeks have presented numerous challenges for my husband and I. At the risk of sounding like I'm re-writing the Book of Lamentations, I'll just fill you in briefly.

The smaller stuff, like the car needing repairs, the air-conditioning breaking down in the midst of some seriously hot weather, internet service that's unpredictable and an old computer that's temperamental...these all together make for some pretty frustrating and worrisome times, but added to the other, more serious things... well it all adds up to the kind of burdens that have you wrinkling your brow, tension headaches and stiff neck and shoulders from stress.

My mother in law has been declining (cancer) and now requires round the clock care. It is a heavy burden the family carries now and there has even been talk of putting her into a hospice...a final step that is weighing heavily on hearts. We are praying and we would appreciate your prayer as well for guidance, for healing. Where there is God, there is always hope.

Even in the midst of all of this, the Lord speaks and the Word encourages and strengthens. 

This week we have begun our study of the Proverbs 31 woman. A fascinating woman, a woman of strength and one thing is very clear to me. The greatest attribute of this woman is her LOVE for others. What propels a woman out of bed before dawn? What causes her to watch over the affairs of her household? If it is duty alone, then what joy is there in her service to her family?

Jesus explains very clearly what love is in John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" This is what, in my humble opinion, the Proverbs 31 woman exemplifies. She does what she does because of her love and compassion, she lays down her life in service...joyful service...to those who are in her care. A tall order, especially on days when we feel burdened, tired, stressed or wrapped up in our SELF (more on that later on), but not an impossible one. As Courtney points out in her video on Monday, if we keep focused on God, keep our eyes on Him, He will give us the strength to do what He wants us to do. She quotes Hebrews 12:2-3 where we are told to fix our eyes on Jesus, to consider all that He endured so that we will not grow weary and lose heart.

How easy it is to grow weary and lose heart! I hold these words especially dear at this time, in this season of life. What an awesome encouragement from Courtney this week. I encourage you, if you haven't already, to look at her video here 

As we go through our mundane tasks, the repetitive and often menial duties we have as homemakers, wives and mothers, let us not lose sight of the reasons we are here, in this place, doing them. Let us strive to do them with love, for love of our loved ones and of God. Then we can be sure that we are one step (or many steps) closer to being like the Proverbs 31 woman.

Homemade Italian Bread Bowls

I was looking for something unusual to take to my in-laws' for a 'Bring a Dish and Come' Friday. These bowls were beckoning to me for a long time. Now, be warned... this recipe made 14 bowls and I think I made mine pretty big. Its a whole lot of dough to knead! I'm pretty sure you can halve it if you don't want to make so many.

Homemade Italian Bread Bowls

Combine:

5 cups warm water
2 Tbs instant yeast (or 2 pkgs)
2/3 cup sugar

Let sit for about 10mins until creamy. This step isn't really necessary with instant yeast, but I find that the warm water helps to mix the other ingredients better and because I buy my yeast in bulk I can make sure that it is still alive this way.

Add:

2 Tbsp salt
2/3 cup olive oil
2 Tbsp garlic powder
3 cups flour

Beat vigorously (you can also start this off in your mixer), gradually adding remaining flour one cup at a time until the dough begins to leave the sides of the bowl. I used a total of 15 cups from start to finish.

Turn out onto a floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic (about 6 minutes) adding more flour if necessary. Your dough shouldn't be so sticky that it sticks to your hands and the board, but a little soft is okay.

Place in a well-greased bowl and cover with a damp cloth, allowing to rise in a draft free place (I use  my oven or I make a place in a kitchen cupboard) until doubled in bulk. Mine took about 45 minutes. 

Because I live in the Caribbean it is naturally warm in my kitchen, but you could try this trick. Place the bowl of dough into your oven and place a pan of boiling water on the rack below.  The steam will help the dough to rise. 

Punch down dough. Divide into 12 to 14 equal pieces, depending on the size you want your bowls to be. Shape each piece into a round ball and place on lightly greased baking sheets. Cover and let rise again in oven or cupboard until doubled, about 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 400F. Brush loaves gently with egg wash ( 1 egg beaten with 1 Tbsp water. You can sprinkle with poppy or sesame seeds, sea salt, oregano, or rosemary or any combination of the above.

Bake for 20 to 30 minutes until golden. I put mine back into the oven for 10 minutes to crisp up when we were ready to eat them. They were nice and crusty. 

To make bowls, cut a half inch thick slice from top of each loaf and scoop out centers, leaving a 3/4 inch thick shell. 

These bowls are great with any chowder, stew or thick soup. We had it with a yummy cheesy corn chowder. I'll share that recipe next time.

My family really enjoyed these. I hope you do too!

A Romantic Marriage - a fairy tale?

I'll be the first to admit...I'm big on romance. I've always been a romantic at heart. I devoured romance novels throughout most of my life and I suppose I'm the roses, wine and sunset lover that typifies a hopeless romantic.


Going into marriage with all these pre-conceived ideas of what romance ought to look like was definitely not a bonus. From the time girls are little, most of us are dreaming of a Prince Charming to sweep us off our feet and ride off into a golden sunset with us on his white charger.


Its not our faults, really. We are raised on fairy tales and the prince and princess always marry and the story ends "Happily Ever After". Just ask my five year old who is obsessed with them already and constantly asks her father and I to tell her the story of when we got married (Bible stories for bedtime from now on and Barbie is going to take a little vacation).


Growing up, my father had a huge collection of records...you know vinyl... Lp's, 45's?  I know I'm showing my age here, but I used to pull out his old records and listen to that 'old-time rock n roll". I absolutely loved music of any kind and he had a wide variety to choose from. 


Among them, I discovered the Everly Brothers and an old song called 'Dream'. It was redone by Andy Gibb and Victoria Principal in the '80's so maybe some of you might remember that one... but you can check out the song here.  Where am I going with this? Well, one line stands out right now "Only trouble is...gee whiz, I'm dreaming my life away."

Basically, that is what we do when we expect romance to be like those novels, fairy tales and all the stuff we've filled our minds with. We end up fantasizing about how we want it to be and not accepting that our husbands are not perfect Prince Charmings and we are not perfect, pink, princesses (what an alliteration lol!) When we do that, we become discontent with the romance in our lives, with our spouses and we start focusing on what it isn't instead of what it could be.


I wrote a few posts tackling just this problem, you can read them here, here and here, but today let me share with you how  my husband and I keep the romance alive in our marriage.

Ditch the novels but don't stop reading
First of all, I stopped reading all those romance novels. Instead, I started focusing on creating romance, using what my husband and I have and not what we don't have.  I will say, though, that back in the days of reading about the characters' hot romances made me want to hotly romance my husband too *blushing*,   but there are far more negative than positive results from reading a novel and trying to re-create it in one's own life.  Having said that, reading is what educated me to what my husband's needs might be, which then opened up the dialogue process.


The right resources can be very enlightening and open the doors to a whole new perspective.  There are amazing books out there that can help you to revitalize your relationship as well as your sexual intimacy. Two key elements to romance...in my humble opinion.

Communication is not so over-rated
One thing most of those romance novels have in common is that the man always seems to know just what the woman needs and he does it. Wake up to real life! No one, man or woman, instinctively knows everything about the needs of his or her spouse! That's why you have to communicate those needs. If you express your desire for something, you give your spouse the opportunity to do it for you. If you wait for him to guess you'll be in for a disappointment, which  then, for most women, becomes a little bubble of resentment because 'he just doesn't understand you' or 'he's so insensitive'. Men aren't naturally intuitive or considerate as women are. Don't keep him guessing.  For years I didn't bother to tell my husband the little things he could do to rock my boat. When I finally started saying them, I was amazed that he, not only would do them with me, but he actually wanted to! What a waste of  so many years!


Size Doesn't Matter
Don't wait for 'grand gestures'. The small things count big in romance. Your husband doesn't have to whisk you away on a mini-vacation for it to be romantic. Based on what the media makes romance look like, the poor man may actually think he has to spend  a lot of money to make a good impression, roses and expensive wine and chocolate (don't get me wrong I LOVE all that stuff) and certainly if you can have a mini-vacation...go for it! Who doesn't love to get flowers...roses especially?


I suggest, however, that any gesture that says I love you, I'm thinking about you and I wanted to do something to make you happy...that's real romance!  My point is romance is about making the other person feel cherished, happy and secure in your love. Its about creating an atmosphere, a chemistry that no sum of money can be applied to.

What's Romantic?
Romance ultimately is defined by the individual, but for me it is this: any opportunity in which I feel closely connected to my husband and I am the focus of his love and attention is one that I consider to be romantic. 


Touching: 
Holding hands...any and everywhere. Sitting close together, a back, foot or (you fill in the blank) rub.


Intimacy:
I'm not just talking about the physical kind...that's a given! The kind where your eyes meet and you know each other's thoughts. The kind of intimacy that's bred by soul-baring and knowing each other as no one else ever could.


Words are important but so are actions:
When I was a newlywed I thought that if my husband would say I love you every single day I would be happy. If he could say in words how he felt about me it would be enough for me. Well, he didn't and I felt my little pink coloured glasses crack a bit.


As an older, wiser woman, I came to realise that he could say those words but it was the action behind them that really made a difference. I still get goosebumps when he says something romantic to me, but I've come to treasure the countless little ways he ACTS in a romantic way.


Keeping romance alive can be really difficult as married people who have children, all sorts of responsibilities and the worrisome and burdensome aspects of life. There are so many factors against it sometimes...time, finances (who can feel romantic when you have debts to pay and are short on cash and how can you plan a date night without cash?).


Lack of privacy is a biggie in a house full of teenagers who observe EVERYTHING or young ones who demand all your time and energy in their waking hours. Which brings me to my next point...energy (sorry honey, can't cuddle tonight I'm falling asleep with our youngest while I read her a bedtime story).


My suggestions are:

• Make every moment count. You don't have to go on a date (although that is the ideal) You can hold hands in the car and have intimate moments even doing the shopping (whoops..busted!), snuggle and cuddle on the couch after everyone else went to bed...you get the picture. 
• Make use of the media (text, e-mail, Skype). It can be very liberating to know that I can delete stuff after so my husband gets the message without our privacy being invaded.
• Do something different and new every now and then to add some spice to your lives. I sent flowers to my husband's office for our anniversary, something I'd never done before and I prayed he wouldn't think it embarrassing. Guess what? He loved it!

The bottom line, ladies it that romance doesn't have to look like it does in the movies, but when it does...ooh la la! I stuck that one in there for my friend Kris whose husband just whisked her away on a surprise trip. Lucky girl! I hope she's having a ball.  I'm not green with envy, really I'm not...I had my romantic interlude with my husband on the couch last night while pulling an all-nighter for a very sick puppy. Doesn't sound too romantic to you? Well, a girl's got to take what she's got and work with it...that's my advice!


Click on the link below to see more on romance from all the lovely ladies in the Marriage Monday community.

Love, Respect & Sub-what?

We have come to an interesting part in our bible study. Many of you may have read or heard of Dr Emerson Eggerich and his book "Love and Respect". If you haven't, check it out on the link below:

In Ephesians 5:21-33, we are shown how husbands and wives should treat each other. As one who has read  'Love and Respect', I've covered this somewhat.  Let me share with you what I've learned.

In Ephesians 5:21-24 we are told that we, husband and wife, must "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ".  We focus a lot on wifely submission, but what I get out of verse 21 is that we are supposed to compromise and respect each other. We are instructed that wives must submit themselves to their husbands as they do the Lord. The relationship between a husband and wife is compared with the relationship between Christ and the Church. We wives are to submit to our husbands as the church submits to Christ. 

This isn't groundbreaking news for most of us, though I know that there may be people who will read this and think "Sub-what? This is the 21st century and women aren't chattels or doormats."  Biblical submission isn't equal to some form of slavery. In fact, its the opposite...here are a few of my observations:

First of all, it isn't easy to live a life of submission...as I'm sure a lot of you know. Doing anything that's right and good isn't easy. Very often, its easier to do the wrong thing.

God had a particular balance in mind when he created man and woman. In Genesis 2:20 we are told that Adam gave names to all the creatures God had created "but for Adam there was not found a helpmeet for him."  Many women take offence to the word helpmeet, but there it is in the bible! This is why God took Adam's rib and created Eve. Genesis 2:21-22.  Clearly God's plan was for Adam to be the head and Eve to be his mate and helper.

There are clear instructions within Ephesians for creating that balance that God intended.  It is not just about wifely submission, but also about how a husband should treat his wife.

Oh, some of us are blessed with husbands who live out the instructions of St Paul and as one of the members of GMG International said recently...its easy to submit to a husband who treats us the way we ought to be treated:

Ephesians 5:25-29 "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her to make her holy,cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish but holy and blameless. In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. After all no one ever hated their own body, but they  feed and care for their body*, just as Christ does the Church for we are members of his body."


*the NKJ version uses the words  "nourishes and cherishes". I find that interesting...do you?


Let's examine this a little closer. If you read between the lines do you see what I see?

• Christ gave himself up for the church...that's sacrificial love. 
• He regards the church as radiant, holy....that's pure love. 
• He has promised to be with the church always, even until the end of the world (Matt 28:20)...that's faithful love. 
• Christ (nourishes and cherishes us) feeds and cares for us...that's nurturing love.

Also, in 1 Peter 3:7 "Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."

So here are clear guidelines for how a husband ought to treat his wife. In here, I believe, is also a mandate for respect for the wife as well. Many of you might be feeling the same way that I felt when I first came to this knowledge. My husband doesn't treat me right! Look, its right there in the bible!  My husband has never nurtured me or sacrificed for me. Love me with pure love?  Hah!  Love me as he loves himself? Never! Cherish me? I don't even think he knows the meaning of the word!

Let's check out this passage:

1 Peter 3:1-2 "Wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands, so that if any of them do not believe the word they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives."


See that line... "won over without words by the behavior of their wives". Ask yourself...does my behaviour encourage my husband to be the man that God wants him to be? Do I inspire him to treat me the way I should be treated by the way I conduct myself? Am I living a life of purity and reverence so that my life is an example to him? We are told in vs 3-4 that it is not our outward beauty or adornments that are important, but  our inner selves and "the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit".  


Let's take a look at 1 Peter 3:5 "For this was the way of the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands." If I interpret these verses correctly...our gentleness and attitudes of humility and kindness will win over our husbands. As we treat them with the respect and honour that we are instructed to,  they will treat us with the kind of love that Christ has exemplified.


This, my friends, is what winning him without words means! Dr Eggerich's concept of Love & Respect is based on this principle. In giving to our spouses what they need of us, they will give to us what we need of them. Isn't this also a biblical principle?  Luke 6:38 "Give and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over..." 


St Francis of Assisi wrote a beautiful prayer which you can find here. Here is one of the verses..."it is in giving that we receive..."  Let us give freely to our spouses and embrace and live out our God-given roles knowing that we are blessed when we are obedient to Him...because that is what I believe it is all about. In obeying God's perfect plan for us, the husband and wife each giving what his/her part is, we create the whole.

Click on the link above to check out this book by a duo of wonderful women who are all about 'winning him without words' in spiritually unequal marriages. Lynn and Dineen are sure to bless you with their wit and grace. You can also find their blog here.