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Monday, January 16, 2012

Marriage Monday -This is Who I am

E-Mom has decided that our first post of the new year here at Marriage Monday is going to be on OURSELVES. She's had the brilliant idea of us getting to know each other better and has provided these little prompts for us to complete.

As this week marks the first anniversary of this here little blog, I think its a great opportunity for my readers to know a little something about me.....so here goes!

I am...the first of three daughters, with all the firstborn hangups and the firstborn attitude to responsibility (or is that better known as uptightness?), daughter of the Father for 44 years, wife for 22 years next month and mother to four daughter, ranging in age from almost 21 to 5 years old.

I want... to learn to 'lighten up', to let go and give more grace, do the 'gut thing' more. I want to set aside all those things that make me highly strung and easily stressed. I want to be able to make those around me happy to be in my presence (and I want to lose the unmentionable number of pounds I need to get rid of!)

I have... a lot to be grateful to God for!

I wish...we could get out of debt and that I could find a way to give my family, especially my husband who works so hard, the things that they desire.

I hate...bullies and arrogant, inconsiderate people (this includes road hogs!), injustice, dishonesty and manipulative people. May God give me the grace to not hate them!

I miss...those blissful days when I could curl up with a good book and get lost until I turned the last page.

I fear...nothing but fear itself! (at least that's what I'm working on). Fear cripples one and I don't want to be paralyzed anymore. I trust in God to get me past those little spots that I still need to work on.

I feel...exhausted! But happy in the knowledge that I serve God in the way I serve my family. Something I constantly have to remind myself of when I get frustrated!

I hear...the sounds of my girls' boisterous laughter, tv blaring, littlest one making herself heard above it all! (the only thing I can't hear is... myself think ;-)

I smell...my daughter's birthday cake baking in the oven.

I crave...right now, a 'honeymoon-type' getaway with my husband (I can think of the perfect spot), dark chocolate, maybe a glass of wine and to absorb the perfect ambiance of God's creation.

I search...for that elusive place where I can set aside my insecurities and my perfectionism, where I can just be happy with being who the Lord wants me to be.

I wonder...what this new year has in store for me, where the Lord wants to lead me and where to go with my little blog.

I regret...that I didn't before have the wisdom and knowledge that I do now and the mistakes I've made along the way as a wife, mother and person.

I love...my husband and children, of course! Dark chocolate, red wine, coffee, roses, old movies and old music, historicals, (can you tell I'm into vintage?) lazy days at the beach with my family, baking things from scratch, trying new recipes, reading and, of course, writing.

I ache...whenever something triggers memories that floor me. I know that we have to go through the dark tunnels to get to the light on the other side, but for that moment...I ache.

I care...about making others happy, how others see me and being the best wife and mother (with all that entails!)

I always...want to be on time, make sure I have gas in the car, walk with my cell phone, put my family's needs first.

I am not...comfortable in social situations at times, I'm a little socially awkward. (Maybe that's what growing up in a very sheltered environment does) That's one of the things I'm working on this year.

I believe...that faith can take us through dark places and have us emerge stronger and better for it and that love DOES cover over a multitude of sins!

I dance...seldom anymore. I always loved dancing. I even learned the steps (and made my friends do it too) to rock and roll music so that I could have a 50's style party for my 16th birthday. Hmm...something else to aspire to this year, perhaps?

I sing...because I love to. I sing in church, in the shower sometimes, in the car. I used to sing while doing my chores and I always sang lullabies to my girls when they were little (still singing for the five year old) Singing is praising God twice!

I cry...when I look at movies with heart-tugging scenes and powerful messages of love and forgiveness, overcoming trial etc. (I also cry when I look at movies with animals...since the days of Lassie and Flipper...you can imagine me taking my girls to see Lion King etc?), when my girls do something to make me proud of them or my husband says sweet words, at weddings ( and when those crazy hormones hit...anybody with me on this one?)

I don't always...keep up with everything. I think I'm terrible with organization and time management (or maybe I just don't delegate properly and I bite off more than I can chew). I'm working on this!

I fight...to raise my children with values and a code of ethics that is contrary to the world at large. It. Is. Not. Easy! I praise God that the grounding my older children received will serve them well and pray for the strength to continue the fight for the last two!

I write...from the heart, on things that God places there. Sometimes I share on marriage or parenting or homemaking, but ultimately I write of Him. This blog was born out of a desire to share His love and light with others.

I never...have enough money lol! Seriously though, I never know what to buy for the men and boys in our extended family. I grew up with girls and I have only girls. My husband is NO help at all! (I mean that in the nicest possible way honey ;-)

I listen...for the sound of God's voice of wisdom and instruction when I go before Him, to the rosary playing in the car when I drive or a station that plays a mix of old and tolerable new music.

I need...to have God first in my life. Without Him I'm nothing! He will supply all my other needs (which are too many to mention!)

I am happy...when it is quiet and peaceful, when my family spends time together, when I cuddle with my youngest and read, cuddling with my husband or when we go out alone together, watching God's awesome creation...sunsets, rainbows, the motion of the sea, the breeze moving through the trees.

So, this is me.. in a nutshell ( a rather large one!) Thank you to e-Mom for making me get in touch with the inner me...now I remember what makes me tick...what makes me happy(you do tend to forget when you're up to the neck in chores and the phone keeps ringing and the dog needs to be fed and you skipped breakfast and...)...I'm going to sing while I do my chores and do a little dance with my broom ;-)


Constance said...

Well HOWDY from the Lone Star State, pleased tameetja!

I am struggling with fear as well. I am encouraged though and I know that God will prevail! Our Pastor just yesterday, addressed fear and how it's conquered by an attitude of faith. I also liked something else he said,
"Be present in the presence of God".

I'm gonna practice that one this week for sure!

Messy Marriage said...

I want to lighten up more this year too. Loved learning all about you, Lisa Maria. Thanks for sharing. :)

April @ The 21st Century Housewife said...

I'm so glad E-Mom gave us these prompts - it's lovely to get to know one another better this way! Thank you for sharing this beautiful post.

Miriam Pauline said...

Another first born here! ;-) And I'll also be baking my daughter a birthday cake this week. How fun!

Great list. It was nice to be "introduced."

Thank you for the invite to the bible study. I don't FB, so it wouldn't work for me (plus what I really need is flesh and blood in the same room struggling together type study). Just having trouble getting that with a newborn and in a new place. Praying that your study goes well.

eph2810 said...

Very nice to meet you :) ...I too wonder what God has in store for my life in 2012.

Thank you for sharing a little about you so that I can get to know you.

Love & peace,
<>< Iris

TerriG said...

I miss curling up with books too! Nice to meet you!

Denise said...

Enjoyed this.

Susannah said...

Awwwww, what a wonderul post! And thanks for sharing your photo at the end too. (You don't look old enough to be the mother of 4 girls, BTW.)

I can relate to so much of what you've written. I'd have to say "ditto, ditto" on nearly every point (and I'm a first born too).

Sounds like you NOW know exactly where you're going this year.

Enjoy your birthday girl. You're a very good Mom, Lisa Maria!

Hugs, e-Mom ღ

P.S. I don't buy gifts for my guys... they'd rather have "experiences." Tickets or a restaurant dinner (and cash) are usually well-received.

Julie Arduini said...

A great post---and we got a picture, too! I could relate to so much that you wrote. It was a blessing to read.

Gardenia said...

well, it's so wonderful to meet you! I love the little glimpses you've given us into who you are. and what a lovely lively woman you are indeed !

Karla Cook @ Roads to Everywhere said...

I enjoyed reading your list. I'm the first of three daughters, too. (And then we had 2 brothers.) So yep, I'm a firstborn. Thanks for sharing!