Learning to be Christian...Lessons from Colossians

We are into the first week of the study of the book of Colossians. So far we have done Colossians 1:1-10.  I have to say that these first three days of the study has been focused, for me, on the reminder of what being a Christian entails:

Praying constantly - Prayer is the doorway of communication between us and the Holy Spirit of God. It is by prayer that we maintain a relationship with Him. A relationship that allows us to grow in wisdom and knowledge and understanding.  Through this relationship, we can receive all the tools and gifts of the Spirit that we need to live this life here on earth in such a manner that we can enjoy eternity forever in Heaven. Somehow I am reminded of the promises made in Baptism, the Covenant we make with God on that day, where He marks us as one of His own and our destiny is to be with Him in Heaven. We must do our part to fulfilling that destiny by abiding in Him. 

                                 

• Prayer for others - As Christians we have a responsibility to lift each other in prayer, just as St Paul lifted the people of Colossae, praying for their continued growth in the Spirit. We should be praying, not just for those who we love and are close to, but for those who are far from God, those who daily offend Him, those in authority - our spiritual and governmental leaders. We should be praying for our enemies and those who annoy us - tough to do, but that's what Christ calls us to!  Matt 5:44-45 tells us "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your father in heaven..."

• Hope, Faith, Love, Grace  - These are the themes that I received from  these first verses of 1 Colossians. We are reminded that our hope is in the promise of everlasting life through Jesus Christ. We are reminded to love all as He did and to keep alive our faith in Him and the Grace that He continually offers to us in the form of forgiveness, provision, protection...the list is endless. I believe that we ought to be extending this grace to others as well...to forgive those who offend us, to be more tolerant and thereby show His love to one and all. When He walked the earth, these are the things He taught and He exemplified, by His actions. If we are to be like Christ, we must emulate Him.

                                                                     

• Evangelization  - I feel strongly reminded that I have a duty to do what I can to bring about the Kingdom of God right here on earth, in whatever way I can, in whatever season of life I am in. Some of the wonderful GMG ladies are missionaries, spiritual leaders etc. We are each called to spread the Good News in our own circumstances...to our spouses and children, to whosoever we encounter in the course of our days. The way we treat others and the way we act will speak of our faith and spiritual walk with God.   We may not all have an active role in official evangelization, but we were all given this mandate by Jesus... Matt 28:19 :Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."

The book of Colossians promises to be a rich and rewarding study. Already, in just a few days, my heart is convicted and my spirit yearns for that deeper relationship with God.  If you haven't already, why don't you join us? Just click on the link above to the Good Morning Girls website and you will find all the details there on how to sign up and download your resources.

May God's blessings be upon all of you!

Dear Me - A Letter to My Teenaged Self

Today is my birthday...I'm now officially on top of the hill...assuming I live to be 90 I'm firmly in the middle ages right now! :P

What a perfect time to link up with Emily at Chatting at the Sky where she is hosting a most intriguing blog party.  I learned about this through my dear friend Kris who participated and decided to take part myself.

Emily recently wrote a book for teen girls entitled Graceful. To celebrate the release of the book she is hosting a linkup which  features letters written by our 'mature' selves to our teen selves. As the mother of four daughters, I think this is a beautiful venture and I look forward to sharing with them what I discover here.

So, with no further ado:

Dear Lisa (you've gone by quite a few names over the years from Lili to Lisedewise and the much-hated Liza Minelli to what most folks call you today...Lise)

I wish I could step into Doc's souped up DeLorean and slip you a little note when you were about 13. What a year of changes for you! I guess you were always in that strange place  in between the uncool and the wannabes. Your search for who you were made you try on so many different cloaks. That's natural I guess, but it sometimes took you away from who God wanted you to be. 

You were always a tomboy growing up... in the teen years it became a balancing act between wanting to look glamorous (remember when you and your bf read cover to cover the Sweet Dreams Fashion Book)  and giving in to your own natural tendencies.  Remember how you and you friends and sisters used to play dress up and model for the camera? You had to have fun somehow right? Pretending to be models and the Solid Gold dancers...unfortunately deep down inside you didn't believe you could measure up...your body didn't look like theirs. Ah, but if only you knew that you were beautiful to God and an heir to His Kingdom, you'd have know you were a princess and it didn't matter if you could dance in high heels or you were too big in certain places!

Even though you tried on the class clown cloak, the serious side of you won out and you ended up a class prefect in your senior year...boy did you lord it over those younger ones. Power definitely did not suit you at all...if only you had worn that mantle of authority with humility and gentleness...as God would have wanted you to. Alas...wisdom comes with age!

You always knew that God was there with you, but I wish you'd embraced Him and loved Him more fully in your youth. You were so lucky, He was always such a good shepherd to you and you know full well you were saved from the consequences of many scrapes!

Like the time you and your bf read Sweet Dream's Popularity Plan (anybody else remember this?) and decided to concoct your own with the boys in the school play and ended up getting the wrong boys' attention?   

You wanted to feel loved and accepted, if only you'd realized that He was all the love you needed all wrapped up in one precious gift. You could find complete and unconditional love and acceptance in Him. Perhaps then, you wouldn't have been so insecure growing up.

I know you felt the severity of your father's restrictions and his harsh discipline all the way to your soul. Someday you will appreciate how he protected you and if only you could have looked beyond his stern exterior you would have seen a man who wanted affection too but didn't know how to give it as it hadn't been given to him.  Someday you will also struggle to give this to your children. What a pity that you never had the courage to reach out to him first...what a difference that would have made!
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You were so insecure in yourself...your body growing so fast you wanted to hide it and the unwanted attentions it brought, your ability to make others like you or love you. Everything falls into place in time and someday you'll be loved for who you are... flaws and all.  Meanwhile, you'd savour the unconditional love of your pets...bleeding heart animal lover that you are.  How many injured birds did you rescue...even taking one with you from the beach to nurse back to health, crying when they didn't make it. You know what? Someday humans will become more important than those animals you love so much now (and let me just whisper in your ear that at least a couple of your future daughters are going to be just like you...so bear it with a smile and remember your own days)

Peaches, Ginger, Lady, Rex and Sheena 

Your love for reading and writing...that was awesome, but it kept you locked away from your family. I know it was your way of dealing with your  teenage drama, but it was a bit selfish.

In fact, you sometimes were so wrapped up in yourself that you didn't pay attention to your sisters and you got upset when they came into your room. Funny that...your future eldest daughter is going to do the same!  

Looking at everyone else's freedoms, you felt the sting of what you couldn't do and have.  My dear, if only you had appreciated what you DID have, but that's the way of youth. The grass always seems greener on the other side. If I could have slipped you a note about one thing it would be this:

EVERYTHING IS NOT ABOUT YOU!  WHAT YOU LIVE NOW, IS BUT A DROP OF WHAT IS TO COME.  

You were always anxious to grow up, to escape, to live. You felt caged in and you longed to have the freedom to discover what was on the other side of the fence. Life goes by so quickly, if only you had savoured that time of innocence and freedom...yes freedom! You didn't know it yet, but you WERE free...free of responsibility, debt and all the baggage that comes with growing up. 

You know, despite you father's strictness, you would have a lot of fun growing up. You always had cousins about and the vacation days at your grandmother's home while both your parents worked provided a lot of room for freedom. Your father graciously allowed your best friend to spend many weekends at your house so you could study and have some fun together. You didn't think anything of it, but it was his way of bending a little...he wouldn't let you go out, but you could have a friend to share some time with.

Oh, and what about that school play you took part in when you were 15? That was one of the greatest times of your life...you really loved the drama! Maybe that's why one of your daughters loves it so much now. That took alot out of your father to drop you to rehearsals and pick you back up when you lived so far away from school. Of course, you wouldn't see that until you become me, the grown up.

There you are, with your bad self,   diamond drawn around your eye, acting as a gang member for the school play

My dear, if I could, I would tell you to slow down, give more of  yourself, appreciate what you have, give more grace to others and most of all...cling to the Father and let him mold and shape you. I would tell you that the most important thing in the world is...how you love!

Why don't you join in the fun and write a letter to your teenaged self? Link up at the site below. Its a very enlightening experience. Warning...introspection required.

Lessons from the Valley - The Doctor

Another blogger friend has written about 'falling down the rabbit hole' and his struggle to just live, to process the reality or unreality of what life had become for him. I'm trying to do the same after feeling as if I've been tossed and tumbled in a huge tornado. Parts One and Two of my ponderings are here if you haven't read them before. Today I'm going to talk about how God proves His love and faithfulness through the doctor.

I had never met Dr Gordon before…by some strange coincidence it turns out that our daughters were in school together. I don’t think that this had any bearing on his treatment of me…I think that God was at work here too.

As I mentioned in a previous post…my husband and I had been praying for a good ob/gyn since my previous doctor had migrated. I was seeing my GP for a short while and he was going to help us to decide which doctor to see.  Ultimately though, we were trusting that God would lead us to the doctor He had chosen for us.

We ended up seeing Dr Gordon as an emergency.  I do wonder if it hadn’t been under those extreme circumstances, whether he would have seen me. He is one of the more prominent doctors in my country.  I worried about how much it would cost to see him.

My loving Father...always my provider  had that covered too. 

Let me stress here that I am not sure what faith this man possesses. Without prejudice (and I hope I don’t sound biased) I know that he divorced his wife after he met someone else years ago. I saw no signs of religious affiliation in his office. My first inclination would be to think that he is not a man of faith…especially since he asked about testing the fetus for genetic problems.  (He also asked me what I thought about being pregnant at my age and I responded that when asked that question I refer the person to the One above.) As I lay on that table in his office…I wondered how many women may have gone there and made the decision to end the lives of their babies.

Yet, our all-powerful God is in every place, every situation.
He was there with me and I do believe He touched the heart of this doctor. This man saw me no less than five times between Monday and Saturday last week...twice in one day and even coming into his office just to check me before he went to his hospital appointments. He used his equipment on me and did several internal examinations…all with the purpose of avoiding the expensive D&C procedure and to ensure that I was okay.

He only charged me for two of those visits, which included ultrasounds, internal examinations, and internal scans. The total cost of my experience…less than US$200!

He could have charged me for each visit….he could have sent me to the hospital in which he works right away to do the D&C… he would have earned more money that way.

I can only see the hand of my loving and almighty God in this! Was  His purpose that this doctor should be touched by our faith in Him? Would he experience God’s love through us? 

Well, my friends, I will never know the answers to these questions, but I will be praying for Dr Gordon. I do believe that He was hand-picked by God, who orchestrated all the events that happened according to His Divine Plan…whatever that Plan may be…

should I question it?

In the midst of this it was abundantly clear that our finances would not accommodate a heavy hit at this time. We had just scrimped all we could to provide our daughter with money to go back to school. It was a pretty anxious time, since after two days of waiting, my womb was still not clear enough and the doctor said he would have to perform the D&C if things did not improve by the third. 

It was at this point that I sent out a prayer SOS to my Good Morning Girls family and to precious friends who all lifted their hearts with mine in prayer and God leaned down and breathed His healing upon me. My womb was clear enough to satisfy the doctor and once again the Lord proved His faithfulness in providing  for us.

"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

He supplied the doctor, he placed compassion upon that doctor's heart and He also worked a miracle of healing in my body so that we would be spared an expense we could ill afford.

PRAISE BE TO GOD FOR ALL HIS GLORIOUS WORKS! I WANT TO THANK HIM AND PRAISE HIM, NOT JUST FOR THE DOCTOR AND THE MIRACLE, BUT ALSO FOR THE BEAUTIFUL FRIENDS WHO PRAYED AND STILL PRAY FOR ME AND FOR MY FAMILY. MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL ABUNDANTLY!!

More Lessons from the Valley

Today I will continue my ponderings of yesterday ...the lessons to be learned from my stay in the Valley of Shadows.

As I mentioned…I wondered from the moment of discovery, where God was leading me with this pregnancy. After four c-sections, I know that further pregnancies are risky. I’d been warned enough by doctors. There was fear, yet I had to trust in God.

I shared with my mother…who naturally was concerned for me, that I wondered if God’s purpose wasn’t for me to actually have a full-term pregnancy. Perhaps he was just testing my faith to see how obedient I would be.  At my age, there is even more risk for things to go wrong and I have had one doctor ask me if I would want to test for genetic defects. This is the way of the world! What would I do if something is wrong…abort it? If something is imperfect we discard it?  All life is precious to Him, imperfect or not!

Oh, how I questioned God’s purposes!

If He took me to the end, He would protect me…I trust in Him!   And yet…when I say “Thy will be done”, does that not mean I must also be prepared that His will could be that I sacrifice my life as well? What of St Gianna…? Is my fate meant to be the same?

Perhaps He was testing me to see if I would remain obedient and disregard any medical advice given to me to prove that I had faith in Him to deliver me and my baby safely through.

Now, I wonder if the true test was not in the acceptance of the pregnancy and the faith to go through it, but in what comes now. 

My friends, I feel so fragile and vulnerable at this moment…I am afraid of going through what I have already.  Fresh in my ears are the warnings of professional medics and the fears of family and friends and my own children imploring me not to put myself in this position again. Fresh is my own fear and doubt.

So, I do believe that the true testing of faith comes now. I can almost hear His voice saying “Now is the time to show your mettle. Do you listen to the voices around you or to mine? Do you stand firm upon your faith in Me, or will you give in to your human fears and weakness? Will you trust Me and my covenant with you…or will you crumble into the dust?”

I must saturate myself in His Word again...I must sink deep into Him to regain that deep faith and abiding trust.

Now, back to the valley of shadows...  the Lord is not yet done with my lessons...He would show me yet again how he is Jehovah Jireh.  


Tomorrow I will tell the tale of the Doctor…

Coincidentally, Jacinta at Growing Home is doing a series on Children are Blessings. I am finding much inspiration from the testimonies there.  Please visit her and be blessed by these beautiful stories of God's glory worked in the lives of women just like you and I.

Another Season...Lessons from the Valley

My dear friends…it has been quite a while and I have had a very eventful summer so far.  Let me fill you in. I wrote this post last month and I had some shockingly exciting news. Today’s post is about yet another season…another valley in the shadows.

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want..."

Last week, I discovered that I had lost my baby. This was no ordinary miscarriage though. I began spotting and over the weekend the bleeding became heavier so I called my GP. He arranged for me to see an Ob/gyn on Monday.

The scan revealed that there was no baby at all.  The amniotic sac was empty. What?! Did this mean that I had had a false pregnancy? No, the doctor assured me that there had been a baby, but that at some time in its development, it had just stopped growing and was expelled.  I had spent the weekend eating myself alive with worry that I could be losing my baby and there wasn’t even a baby to grieve!

I cannot begin to explain how confused, shocked and traumatized I was at this news. I wasn’t even thinking clearly at this point. In some weird place in my consciousness, I was GLAD that I didn’t have to look at a dead baby on that screen…the memory of the last miscarriage, which I had ten years ago, is still vivid. That moment when the screen showed clearly that my baby was no longer attached to the placenta and was, in fact, dead was a moment of the deepest despair as I let go of the fragile hope that it was all just a strange hiccup in my pregnancy and that all was well.

"He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul"

To cut a long story short, the doctor induced labour to rid my womb of the placenta and sac. My friends, I have had the pain of miscarriage…which to my memory lasted only a couple of hours. I have never experienced labour and I must commend all of you who have endured this to bring forth your precious babes.

 For my part, I endured without the prospect of a beautiful babe at the end of it and it was the most torturous thing I have ever endured. The agony was two-fold, physical as well as emotional. I thought of our Lord’s passion as I began walking this threshold of pain, but soon no coherent thought would form in my mind for hours.

Many of you, I know, have experienced pain and suffering of all kinds, loss and grief. Our journey here on this earth is filled with peaks and valleys, highs and lows…all with the single purpose of ascending that final mountain to our loving Father’s arms.

Sometimes we are tempted to question God’s purposes…when we are in the darkest of places we sometimes feel all alone. This is far from the truth because He is never far from our sides. I just love the well-known poem “Footprints in the Sand”. 

It illustrates so clearly the truth…the reality…that when we are at the end of our strength, He is there carrying us. When we feel alone, abandoned, despairing…He is actually lifting us, comforting us, loving us. If only we could see clearly with our spiritual eyes when we are in these dark valleys of life. If only we could remember not to turn inward but to look up.

"For yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,  I will fear no evil for thou art with me; thy rod and they staff they comfort me."

Many times throughout the last few weeks, I have failed to look upward. Many times, I have questioned, wondered out loud and allowed my thoughts to roam far from Him. From the moment I discovered that I was pregnant, I have wondered where God was leading me…what His purpose was. I have wondered what the cost of my obedience would be.

 As I ponder this, I know I have a lot more to share and I hope that you will come back tomorrow for the rest.  God is almighty! We are not to question His ways…and yet…

Sharing with:

        

Five Minute Friday...Beyond!

Its been a while since I participated in Five Minute Friday...to tell the truth its been a while since I participated in much of anything. There's been so much going on around here. When I saw today's prompt though, it resonated with what's been happening to me and I believe it is the perfect vehicle to give a wonderful testimony. So, here goes...

BEYOND

What an awesome God we serve! He reminds me that His Grace is sufficient...it goes

BEYOND my fears

BEYOND my weaknesses

BEYOND my insecurities

BEYOND my human capabilities

BEYOND my SELF

Two days ago, I lost my cheque book. I'd taken it with me to the doctor, but when I opened my  handbag to pay him...IT WASN'T THERE!!

It wasn't in the car, it wasn't at home...I was so anxious about what had happened to it. I could only think  that it had fallen out of the car into the road and I hadn't seen it. I felt awful...how could I be so careless?

This morning, I went out with my husband and opened my handbag to get a tissue....there was my chequebook, stuck in the middle of one of my journals!

Okay, let me be specific here...this journal is an old one from 2010..its a record of my meditations with the Lord and has some powerful Word in it.  It has resided on my bedside table, in a drawer since I put it there.

How did it get into my handbag? How did the cheque book...which my husband and I had searched for frantically...end up in there?

God is so wonderful!  I took this miraculous turn of events to mean that He was sending me the message that He is taking care of me...ALWAYS...BEYOND the boundaries of natural law. HE IS THE GOD OF THE IMPOSSIBLE!

STOP!

Just a little note to verify...all that wonderful Word I had received...well, I really needed to read it all again...right here, right now, in this particular season.  GOD IS GREAT!!

Life gets crazy..but there is always God! (An Announcement)

Hello there my friends. It has been quite a while. So much has happened and as I sit here writing this I'm still a bit overwhelmed by how life can spin in crazy cycles sometimes. The one thing that is true and forever unchanged is our God.

The lyrics to this song are very dear to me. I had wanted to share them with my mother in law before she died as  I knew she was in her darkest hour but I never worked up the courage to. Now these are my own words as I have passed through the valley of the shadow of darkness myself.

Yesterday was the 40th day after the death of my mother in law and we celebrated Holy Mass in her memory, as per Catholic tradition.  I just want to dedicate this song to her now and to ask the Lord to have mercy on her soul and pray that she rests in peace in His arms.

Now for the announcement:

I always say that the Lord has a tremendous sense of humour...or something! In an incredible, crazy, yet somehow perfect timing I found out that I was expecting a baby just days after we laid my mother in law to rest!  Talk about shock! I don't know how my husband's heart survived it...hot on the heels of grief we were supposed to feel joy and excitement.

 Truthfully, I was on an emotional roller coaster (hormones added...can you imagine?) I planned a blog post with the cute title of "The Lord Giveth, the Lord taketh!". I told my family with a determined sense of "I've got the faith to do this! Don't question it!" but I was really like jello inside...and then... I fell.

Now, for those of you who have known me for a while, you know that my husband and I have trusted in the Lord completely and surrendered my womb to Him. You may also know that I have had four c-sections already and therefore this is a high-risk pregnancy. I also no longer have an ob/gyn since the first one died and the second one migrated.

Put all this together and I found myself in a web of fear, anxiety, depression and in a place that was far, far away from the One who sustains me. Other people were excited and happy for us and I just felt numb, just falling short of saying "Why God?!"

What an awful, dry and barren desert I've been in! Unable to pray, unable to get into the Word and purposefully staying away from His House in a mixture of self-pity and pride...yes pride!  I worried about what people would think about this almost 45 year old woman being pregnant. I felt fat...nothing fit me anymore and it seemed as if overnight I was swelling up. Pride people! Awful, ugly sinful pride! I put my own self before God and failed to trust Him!


Oh,I could make excuses about morning sickness and fatigue, a period of illness that required antibiotics and even the small window of opportunity to get online...but ultimately what weighed me down and kept me prisoner was SELF again! Thank God for His Grace! He NEVER abandons us and keeps on pursuing His lost sheep.

The thing about our enemy is that he WANTS us to buy into the lie that once we're down we have to stay down. Did you ever notice that? When you're down he puts his foot on top of you and crushes you further with all sorts of mind games! Oh yes, the battlefield of the mind is as old as the history of mankind!

God reigns victorious though! Satan cannot have the upper hand!

I went before the Throne of Grace and confessed my sin...now I am free to be joyful, to trust in Him implicitly. He has a plan...for me, for my husband, for this new little light in my womb. The world says we're crazy, we should have been more 'responsible',  more 'careful'...even people close to me who are afraid for me have, in their fear,  said  similar things . I know I'll get my ear chewed off by the doctor who attends to my case, but I DON'T SERVE THE WORLD! I serve an Almighty, All-Powerful and loving Father who knows what is best for me and my family.

My dear friends, I humbly ask for your prayers, for a good doctor, for my husband and I to have the strength, courage and faith to continue to be obedient and to abide in Him,despite our human weaknesses. Please pray for this little one to be born safely.

I want to thank all of the friends who knew of my situation and have been praying for me. I have so appreciated all of you and it has indeed been a barren time since I also abandoned my time online and ultimately denied myself your encouragement and friendship. I have truly missed you all.

May God bless each of you abundantly!

Thank you sweet Jesus for your infinite love and mercy, that though I don't deserve it, you always rescue me from the pit and lead me to peaceful waters, restoring my soul!